“He in his madness prays for storms, and dreams that storms will bring him peace.”
― Leo Tolstoy
Ultimately, sex with trans people follows the same basic guidelines as sex with anyone:
Always have consent
Be considerate of your partner(s).
People seem to treat trans people specifically as if there’s something inherently different about them. The porn industry treats them as things to be fetishized. Bigots treat them as liars, particularly trans women. Ordinary people display stunning amounts of transphobia without even thinking about it, especially when it comes to trans people’s sex lives. They deserve so. much. better. from their partners. Don’t “other” the people you sleep with.
That said, it’s worth keeping in mind that everyone has different wants and needs when it comes to sex. There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all guide. However, as a general rule, there are things that are worth keeping in mind when your partner is trans.
Body issues of any kind can make sex tricky. If your partner deals with them, make an extra effort to be considerate. Ask before you touch. Use kind words. And, as in any sex situation, do not push their no.
Ask your partner how they’d like you to refer to their genitals. For example, some trans women don’t seem to have any problem with “penis”. An alternative I’ve heard used is “trans clit”, although “clit” would probably be better during sex. After all, the clitoris is analogous to the penis, and they’re more closely related than they are different.
Some trans people prefer not to engage genitals at all during sex. Get creative with your sex life.
Recognize that your body may trigger dysphoria in them. Don’t take it personally, and, as always, be considerate.
Remember that even though sometime, trans people have issues with sex that cis people might not have, sex with a trans person is not inherently more complicated (or, God forbid, more illicit or exotic) than sex with anyone else. Literally everyone brings some kind of baggage to bed with them. To be a good partner, be considerate. So many sources would tell you that there’s so much to being the ideal partner, but to be the ideal partner to the person you’re with, just be respectful. Ask questions, and actually listen to their answers. Ask permission, and be prepared to accept “no” for an answer. Don’t objectify your partner. They’re a person, not a puzzle or a plaything.
People deserve respect on the streets, in the sheets, and everywhere in-between. And trans people are people. Your trans partner is a person. So many people don’t want to treat them that way; they deserve better from us.
Once they had a ship, the pirates elected their captains, and made all their decisions collectively. They shared their bounty out in what Rediker calls “one of the most egalitarian plans for the disposition of resources to be found anywhere in the 18th century.”
They even took in escaped African slaves and lived with them as equals. The pirates showed “quite clearly – and subversively – that ships did not have to be run in the brutal and oppressive ways of the merchant service and the Royal navy.” This is why they were popular, despite being unproductive thieves.
Oops, turns out piracy is pretty much always a term like terrorist that gets slapped on whatever we don’t like despite being a general reaction to the status quo. And nothing’s really changed.
And when african pirates were captured by the British they were forced into the slave trade.
Horrible Histories taught me about pirates https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zwn5K89dE5c
They were generally democratic, disciplined, communal - they even had pensions! If you wanted out of the pirate life, you would be taken to a destination of your choice (anywhere in the world) and given a lump sum to help you with your new life.
Honor among thieves.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU YES i’ve spent like two years studying piracy (back when i had time to devote to reading and research) and yes pirates are actually all very interesting and democratic and great
Reblogging since someone recently sent me an ask on this topic (although now it appears to be lost somewhere in my inbox).
The thing that annoys me the most about conversations on piracy is the Eurocentrism. African pirates feature as ‘side characters’ on white western ships and that’s about it. This TOTALLY ignores the many other pirate communities out there. Like, why are there no documentaries, movies and novels about Chinese pirates? They outnumbered pirate ships of European origin by a large margin and were very succesful. They formed massive fleets and regularily kicked ass against European naval fleets.
Chinese ‘Pirate kings’ often had a fleet of over 200 ships and the Japanese-Chinese pirate king Cheng Chih-Lung had over a thousand. He fought wars against rival pirate kings and often saw the European fleets as minor nuances. After 1635 you couldn’t sail the Taiwan Strait without a permit issued by Cheng Chih-Lung. He then went on to become a navy commander of the Ming dynasty. He kicked the Dutch VOC out of Taiwan and might have become king of Taiwan if he hadn’t died shortly after.
How is he not the most famous pirate in the history of piracy? Oh yeah.. wait.. he wasn’t white.
Deadline is reporting that one of our favorite historical ladies may be coming to a television screen near you: Ching Shih, a pirate’s widow who, at the dawn of the 1800′s, began a career that would make her one of the most notorious pirates in the world, the terror of the Chinese, British, and Portugese navies, so unstoppable that the only way to end her naval empire wound up being to offer her complete amnesty and a nice retirement.
Maggie Q, late of Nikita, Mission: Impossible III, and Young Justice, is”set to headline a limited series from Steven Jensen’s Independent Television Group, Mike Medavoy & Benjamin Anderson of Phoenix Pictures (Black Swan), and Fred Fuchs (Transporter). Titled Red Flag, the series is set in the early 1800s and centers on Ching Shih (Maggie Q), a beautiful young Chinese prostitute who goes on to become one of history’s most powerful pirates and head of the most successful crime syndicate in China.”
Little is known of Ching Shih’s early life, so our accounts of her usually begin with pirate leader Zheng Yi taking a cantonese prostitute for his wife. During their marriage, Ching Shih was fully a part of her husband’s profession. After his death, she maneuvered and politicked her way into the lead position of his fleet, taking as a lover and new husband a man she could trust to take care of (and I might be reading a little too far into Wikipedia here) all the boring administrative stuff. Under Ching Shih, her fleet adopted a strict code of conduct governing loyalty and the distribution of loot and stolen goods, as well as personal conduct.
Ching Shih was also remarkable for being one of the only famous pirates to retire and die of natural causes. Giving up on defeating her, the Chinese government offered complete amnesty to all pirates, and she accepted, taking her ill-gotten gains and opening a gambling house, eventually dying at the age of 69.
I’m not. If a PoC blogger gets fed up and types out a post about white people without clarifying that they meant “not all white people”, or a trans person posts about cis people without saying “not all cis people” I am not offended.
Do you want to know why?
Because in that situation, there is only one of three possible realities:
- I think about it and understand that I don’t do those things that the blogger is talking about, and the post isn’t about me really, so I move on.
- I think about it and realize that “oh shit” I DO sometimes do whatever it is they are talking about, and I fucking realize that I need to fix that behavior because holy hells I don’t want to be enforcing oppressive bullshit.
- It’s a joke at the expense of the oppressive majority. Seriously.
That’s it. Those are the only Three possibilities. The post either isn’t about me, or I’m getting called out on shit I need to fix, or it’s a joke (and not a joke at the expense of the marginalized but at the expense of the privileged). That’s it. Not something I’m going to fight about.
hey i know i have a fraught and passive-aggressive relationship with time magazine but please take like a minute out of your day to vote for laverne cox to be in this year’s time 100 list of the 100 most influential people in the world this year
The most important line in the whole damn song. MESSAGE.
The only historically accurate line in the whole film.
Chris, why do you feel like Captain America is the perfect hero for our times?
ive been thinking and like
i have those iron-on paper things and i have photoshop
i could totally make myself one of those cool art-with-creative-slogan things
you know tumblr’s really fucking boring when you’re in between interests